This story is the brainchild of my dear friend Eric, who recently purchased a rather large home (read: massive as yo’ mama) and is beginning the renovation process.

I’m unclear as to exactly when the toilet became the latest and greatest but I gotta say, these upscale models are pretty killer. When I took Melissa’s TOTO commode for a test drive, I was stunned. My buttocks were nicely warmed and my entire boudoir experience was elevated to new heights. I didn’t want to get off that thing. Ever. A special thank you to Melissa and her husband Christopher for allowing me to sit my rear on that that small porcelain piece of wonder…

My favorite part of this story was sitting down with writer Patrice Evans. He’s a born and raised New Yorker, and I think that his outlook on segregation is a fascinating one. I’ve always had such a knee-jerk liberal reaction when it comes to the notion (and/or reality of) segregation, and I think his thoughts on the matter shed a fascinating perspective on what’s happening in the city.

When he brought us into his home for the interview, we (well, I) had a small fiasco with his bathroom toilet. He remained calm and collected as we plunged away. The irony with the toilet debacle was that directly after interviewing Patrice, my videographer and I went to Tribeca to do a story on the commode. Yes, an entire episode dedicated to the toilet. Stay tuned…. it’s coming up on tomorrow’s IntoTheBox!

I move around. It’s kinda my thing. I’ve been doing it ever since I was a kid, but the rate at which I’ve been moving since arriving in New York City in 2000 has increased at warp speed. I can point to a million different factors as to why I’ve moved so many times, but the bottom line is that I’ve moved. And I’ve learned. And I wanted to do a story that might help a person or two overcome the obstacles that I encountered while finding an apartment in the big titty.

In 2003, an article in TimeOut NY was published with a checklist of three behaviors New Yorkers should engage in when it comes to NYC real estate:

-Seriously consider renting an apartment whose bathtub is in the kitchen

-Be forced to live with your ex after the breakup because neither of you can afford to move out

-Peruse the local real-estate ads [when you’re out of town] just to see what kind of mansion your NYC rent could get you in that podunk town.

NO, NO, NO!!!! This doesn’t help and it certainly doesn’t have to be so difficult. Don’t get overwhelmed. Don’t let the brokers get to you. Remain calm. If you’re in a real time crunch, pay the hundred bucks to store your stuff, and crash at a friend’s place until you can find a home that you feel good about. It may take some time, but it will happen.

If you need additional help beyond the links section here on IntoTheBox, post your question in the comment section underneath the ‘Hunt Is On Video’ and you can always email us here with additional issues.

Now breathe. You’re a winner, and you shall overcome!